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When a week feels like a lifetime

March 13, 2009

After trying and failing to get pregnant for over a year, it would seem like waiting an extra week or two or THREE for a doctor’s appointment should be no big deal. I had thought I was getting much better at waiting. But no. Here I am, sitting in my cubicle in tears, because I can’t see my doctor again until the end of May.

I used to cry when I got my period or sometimes when I saw my pregnant coworker, conveniently cubed next to me.  I’ve been handling both of those events much better the past couple of months — I try to rejoice for my coworker nad the new life she’ll bring into the world. I thank God for my period, even though I didn’t want it, because at least it shows my body is doing something regular.

Now this.

I had my first appointment with my wonderful doctor last month (it was supposed to be in Jan., but a flat tire derailed me). This month is the month of testing — an HSG next week, saliva tests, a blood draw. We will finally be able to look at all of this information at my next appointment, and hopefully get a picture of what is (or isn’t) going on with my body.  Hopefully we can move forward with some treatment!

I had scheduled the appointment for April 20th, but  it appears my test results will not be back by then. I have been calling the doctor’s office all week to see if we could make it a bit later. Finally I connected with the front desk today, only to discover his next availability is May 11th!

That means I have to wait through this cycle of testing, plus two more cycles of waiting before we can do any sort of treatment. It feels like a lifetime.

The receptionist, of course, has no idea.  She cheerily chirped out the May 11th appointment date — just trying to do her job. She had no idea that on the other end of a line a frustrated woman’s body absolutely crumpled and her eyes welled up with tears.

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