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When good news goes bad

February 1, 2010

I have been and will be super-busy at work. My head is about to explode. I hate the federal budget.

BUT I wanted to step away from the fiscal 2011 proposal for a moment to beg your prayers and words of encouragement, if you do not mind. (I am so greedy.)

I heard a very difficult pregnancy announcement last night. The hardest one I have had to face thus far. How bad, you may ask? Well, I am walking around today like someone in my family DIED, when the real news is that someone (in my family) is bearing life.

I recognize it is more than a little ridiculous for me to be so upset. RI-DIC-U-LOUS. This ought to be good news.

And yet … I feel so bad.

It is much like our early days of trying to conceive … those months when I really thought I was pregnant and was devastated to get my period. It felt like such a loss. I feel like that now — like something was taken from me, even though it was something I never had. I keep crying.

My selfish heart.

I ask God’s forgiveness.

I WILL write more about it (and about the RE! and acupuncture! and my lovable nephew!). But right now I have to write more clunky prose for work, and my brain is completely fried. So I am afraid the details will have to wait. I am such a delinquent blogger.

Also, for my DC cronies: My church does a pretty amazing job — if I do say so myself — for Candlemas, the Feast of the Presentation. A full orchestral mass! It is Tuesday evening, 6:30 pm. Foggy Bottom area. I hesitate to say more here, lest I come up in church searches online. So I will try to send an email to some of you with other info … or if you want to know more, just let me know in the comments.

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10 comments

  1. I’m so sorry. Some announcements are just harder to take than others. Prayers for you.


  2. Sorry about having to deal with the announcement. I’m looking forward to hearing the rest of your updates when you have time.


  3. 😦

    Prayers and cyberhugs coming your way.


  4. I hope things start looking up for you. Nothing like getting upsetting news when you are overloaded with work. Ugh! Praying that you will find some peace with the situation. God Bless


  5. Oh I can relate. I hope and pray that the light that always comes after the darkness comes VERY soon for you!


  6. I don’t think I’ll be able to make it (given the hour, I predict I’ll be late to work tomorrow), but I am intrigued by Candlemas and would love to have more info (you have my email, right?).


  7. I have been there. It is so hard. Praying that you find peace and joy in the midst of your suffering.


  8. I hope the Mass was lovely tonight! The snow has just started, so hopefully it didn’t keep people away.

    I’m sorry about your difficult pregnancy news. Ugh… there are no words to describe the complexity of those feelings. Know that we have been there.

    Praying for you… and hoping to see you soon!!


  9. Did you change blogs? Or did I just completely space out? I can’t believe I didn’t know your blog address until just now! I have some catching up reading to do :).


  10. I completely understand the jumbled feelings you’re probably experiencing with this pregnancy news. I recently experienced that when my brother and his wife announced their pregnancy. I felt happy for them, but then started sobbing and grieving for my inability to create the miracle of life. It’s a tough journey – I’ll say a prayer for you!



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