Of babies and barren wombs

Wow, Sew‘s live-blogging during her birth and prompt post of her labor story from the hospital has put me to shame! I did not even have a computer in the hospital. And I have been so slow to find words and computer time to tell the story. But I love that awesome picture of Sew during labor, sitting in her hospital bed with the computer, smiling … makes me think I should have had an epidural.

There are babies everywhere. Some have come early and some a bit late, but there has been a huge rush of babies in the last few weeks in the once-infertile blogosphere. I was the bearer of one of those babies. If you check out my babycentric blog, you can see many pictures of my new son. He was born Thanksgiving night and is healthy and doing well, thanks be to God. I am posting near-daily photos on that blog for the benefit of my family, who are all dispersed up and down the east coast and demanding daily updates about the new member of the family.

So, it’s an exciting time for those having the babies, but I keep thinking about all those still waiting and how hard it probably is. And although I am thrilled to be home with my new son, I still get confused and angry. In church on Sunday there was mention of Elizabeth, ” she, who was called barren.” I smiled and looked at the baby next to me.

“With God, nothing is impossible.”  But then I asked God, “really?!” What about all those friends waiting so much longer, for whom things seem really impossible right now? What about them!?

And I lifted you up and pray that with God, all things are possible for you.

I was privileged to pray for many bloggers during my labor. For those of you that shared your prayer concerns with me, thank you for sharing with me and inviting me into your lives in that way. Admittedly, my labor was a bit more difficult than I expected and I may not have prayed as much as I had wished. But I carried your intentions — and they carried me — through the first four hours. My water broke — all of it — which made contractions start in a rather severe manner — close together and pretty strong. I had my list of prayer intentions, and I cried out for you as I leaned over on the bed or my exercise ball.

I pray for God to relieve your suffering and send a child into your life very soon.

My wait was shorter than many of you, but I find I am very, very grateful for that gift of infertility. Of course, it’s easier to be grateful for the years of crying and waiting now, once you have a baby at home, right? I know. But for me (and it certainly would not be this way for everyone!), I now see that time was crucial to make me a better mother, friend, spouse, child of God. Taking care of another human life is hard, especially for someone who tends to be as selfish as I do. I am much more grateful for the opportunity to give up my life for this little one now, knowing how hard it was to get here… Did I not long to be awoken at 4 am for so long? And how many others are still waiting?

I wish *everyone* was posting about babies right now. I am praying for all those still waiting. I still find it hard to trust that with God, nothing is impossible. But I know I should. It is the season of Advent, a time where we celebrate waiting and expectation. A time where we celebrate miraculous conceptions and a little baby who was the hope and savior of the world. A time when we celebrate how God came in great humility to be with us, to share our suffering.  Come, Lord Jesus!